Derry Hamilton

Derry Hamilton is the #1 realtor with the #1 guarantee -- I promise to sell your house or I will BURN IT DOWN! How about that!? Incredible, right? Other realtors will hem and haw, but that's for the chicks 🐣. With stakes as high as committing arson, you can feel safe & secure knowing that I WILL SELL-- FAST and for A LOT OF DOUGH!

My clients have been so happy with how much DOUGH they get for their HOUSES!

To know that I'm serious, I carry around a SOLID GOLD LIGHTER with the face of Papa Lengba of Vodun tradition. I am a SPIRITUAL MAN who holds KNOWLEDGE of MANY RELIGIONS (incl. jew, christ, muslum). I will use my knowledge of prayer in negotiations so you get the MOST DOUGH and then also pray over your home regularly to protect it from any unbaptized ghost-child night-wanderers.

I love children!

I am an excellent realtor of incredible high regard. I am very worldly. I was born in Grimes County Texas and lived many years as a Merchant Marine and a hospitable local in Antigua before returning to the UNITED STATES COUNTRY THAT I LOVE!!!!! The dream of the USA is the dream of homes, and I want to put you in a home, or sell your home for awesome amounts of DOUGH!

I will work so hard for you. I will sleep in houses to make sure they are good at night and there are no ghost-children residing in the home. I will make negotiations literal hell for the other party. I will call the other agent at all times of night and negotiate. This is just one of my methods that makes me a #1 real estate agent. I will show up at restaurants where the other agent is and negotiate. They will not be ready for my tactics. I will win the deal for you and you will walk away with DOUGH overflowing out of your checking account. And If I don't I will BURN DOWN ANY HOME.

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